What’s driving me to do better?

These images below and my previous posts… the good memories and the bad… the hole in the soul… the missing jigsaw to my realisation to life commitments.

This image is compilation of photographs taken at university in 2008, a few days after hearing the closest person I knew had passed away. This was one of my grandmothers who was like another mother at heart, my mother’s mother in context. The series of photographs captured my feelings and thoughts at the time when in split emotion realising I couldn’t make it home to pay my respects and help my parents straight away at the time of studying.

My parents are business owners meaning shopkeepers running newsagent from 5.30am-10pm without any breaks 7 days a week. Now it shuts at 9pm, although there’s always the odd person banging on the shop front to get served during late nights or early mornings, but we just don’t answer as my parent do enough hours throughout the day. Businesses like these used to be a backbone of thriving economy till internet and the supermarkets came to play. Longer hours is a must and a standard normality of lifestyle for most people who live in the UK.

So during this period I had a university project that involved making artist books, which I took to a personal level wanting to show how much I cared about both worlds, the things going on around back home while wanting to do well at university.

This was the result…

Some serious steady hands and being patiently calm. A typography project with dual material, a lightweight plastic film with a poem soldered through it and the other with the same poem carved into heavy stone tiles with a scalpel. The plastic film and the stone tiles were conceptualised as the soul and body of my grandmother who were mentioned throughout the poem.

Not only did it happen once, but twice in the following year with my father’s mother. My father’s parents were living in India and my father had to go visit straight away. My other grandmother who I only ever saw twice, once when an infant and again during end of my GCSE period.

By then my heart completely sank and I wasn’t in the best fit of minds to continue my degree, but by chance my university mates and tutors helped me around at the time. It was also my first time being independent living outside my home for 4 years too at the time, so homesickness was in the mix.

Thinking from an opposite view, I now get to see both grandfathers pretty much every few months or days. My mother’s father lives with my uncle and aunt and my father’s father with us. Sadly both are not feeling any better in terms of health, so we all try to do what we can to help around. I believe family values are important and that we must step up when in need of help.

Now a days, I visit my blog every so often to remind myself of the past and how I’ve overcome this and encouraged to do better, remove the negatives in life and turn them into positives!

Life for me has completely changed, more responsibilities is a must. I work for small agency that involves a lot more work, but I like the challenge. It also keeps me focused learning new skills, understanding workflows, technologies, implement them into the office and encourage to change old habits into new improvements. Currently I am working on tightening current client website securities and revamping our company website, both pretty much needs doing urgently while time is ticking away.

I still haven’t forgotten the post that’s due about my career progress I mentioned a few posts ago and my recent post about privacy. Right now, I’m just stretched out with all sorts around me, so I will see how it goes from here.

Lifestyle Entrepreneur | DIV BOT = Design In Variety, Build On Technology.

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Posted in History, Reviews

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